When I was growing up, I kept hearing something like, “Never meet your heroes.” It always sounded heavy—like one of those warnings you hear from adults who’ve been disappointed once or twice, and now figure the whole world works that way.
I used to worship both footballers and musicians with equal intensity. In my mind, they were otherworldly. Then life does its thing—and suddenly you get the chance to meet them. And yes, I found out the old sayings aren’t always right.
When the Hero Is Someone You Once Saw from Afar
Dave Grohl is one of those figures who seems built to be a hero—someone you expect wouldn’t quite live up to the myth. But over and again, he proves otherwise. He’s warm, genuine, excited by the same stuff we are: old records, great riffs, real community of fans.
One of the most beautiful stories he has is about seeing David Bowie for the first time live. Grohl says standing in the photo pit, looking at Bowie on stage, felt like seeing an alien. A UFO. “Oh my God, it’s real.” (“That’s something I’ve never seen before.”)
And then, when he finally got to meet him, Grohl realized something important: the hero is also human. Bowie was funny. Sweet. Kind. And yes, that iconic voice? It wasn’t some myth. It came out of a living person’s mouth.
When Admiration Runs Into Reality
Of course, meeting doesn’t always mean collaborating. Grohl once asked Bowie to sing on a soundtrack he was working on—for a movie. Bowie turned him down, saying: “I watched the movie and I’ve got to be honest—it’s not my thing. I’m not made for these times.”
Grohl thanked him, and then Bowie—being Bowie—sent back a cheeky: “Alright, now that’s settled, then fuck off.” Grohl couldn’t tell at first if he was joking or serious. (It turned out more like Bowie being playful in his own way.)
Later, in the exchange, Bowie wrote: “No more birthdays. I’ve run out of them.” It was a heavy moment when Grohl read that line back, especially after Bowie passed away shortly after releasing Blackstar. Grohl reflected that maybe Bowie knew things were changing. Or maybe he was just being poetic. Either way, it was powerful.
What All This Teaches
Heroes don’t have to be perfect. Sometimes you’ll find them awkward, flawed—but usually also generous in ways you didn’t expect.
The myth isn’t totally wrong, either: a hero lives up in your imagination for a reason, and meeting them can be humbling. But that doesn’t make it bad. It can be inspiring.
Also: it’s okay to ask. Even if the answer is “no,” sometimes the exchange itself becomes part of the story.